The Deciding Factor

The moments leading up to the: "I gotta make some changes" moment. 
Southwest had a deal that I couldn't pass up.  It was September, 2017.  I got an extra paycheck that I wasn't expecting and thought I'd take a risk and take a trip. I loaded up my two kids, their carseats, two suitcases (one was huge), a stroller, a pack-n-play, a few backpacks, and a wagon and hopped a plane on short notice to visit the best of friends.

 (It was very early in the morning when I left-3am, so yeah, I look awful in this pic..but you get the idea of how I traveled alone with two littles.)

So the first moment came when I had to embarrassingly ask for a seat-belt extender.  I had never had to do this. (Except that one flight to NYC when I was 5 months pregnant and starting to show-I had just chocked that up to pregnancy though.  Thanks Kyle.)   Although, I should have expected it.  Sometime before my daughter was born I realized I couldn't ride the Batman ride at Six Flags because of my big chest.. coupled with back fat.  We went once after she was born before I quit paying for Six Flags altogether for fear of being turned away from rides because I'd gained so much weight.  

This leads to moment two on the trip.  When we arrived, our hosts had planned to take us to the LA County Fair.  It was loads of fun, but I found fear in doing things with the kids because of my size.  Carrying them around, even in the wagon could get easily tiring.  I didn't think I'd make it on the walk back to the car at the end of the night.  I was slow moving.. although Kyle did drag me down and kept dropping to the ground.  He wouldn't ride in the wagon anymore and I was too worn out to carry him that far.  

The 3rd and most important moment.  Mt. Rubidoux. 

It's really not that big.  More like an over-sized hill.  But just walking through the neighborhood on the sidewalk to the entrance of the park trail that leads up the side of this giant hill....I was seriously winded.  I thought I might pass out.  

We made it to the entrance, and started up.  I thought, " I'm not going to make it up there." 

 We were trying to get to the top by sunset.  I had been told it wasn't a steep walk. It was gradual. Yeah. right.

If you look at the pictures, it doesn't seem steep.  Yet, we had barely started, my calves were screaming, my lungs were tightening, my heart was bursting and I don't know how I didn't pass out.  I could not tug the wagon that my son was riding in.  Clara was walking between the vast distance between my friends and the wagon, and where I was behind on the trail.  That distance kept growing.  My friends would stop and wait patiently.  But it was embarrassing that I couldn't keep up.  As hard as it was, and as slow as I had to move, I was determined to make it up that damn hill. 

I stopped again. and again.  I tried to catch my breath. I tried to keep my heart beat from beating out of my chest.  I made it. Somehow. I made it.  

That is when I knew.  I needed to do something.  I needed to make changes so I could do things like this with my kids.  I didn't want to be left behind.  I wanted to be a part of their adventures.  I wanted to be around for their discoveries.  I wanted to be able to guide them on these journeys.  

I had seen posts a friend from college had been sharing about her fitness progress that had started in February.  I had even talked to her about giving it a shot when I returned.  

And that is what leads to my rough beginning....

Ta ta for now.